Tomorrow is the day that I will be turning 19 years of age. I have never been a birthday person, I never found any point in celebrating myself for an entire day, as I hate the attention being on me, frankly it makes me nauseous.
My friends want to do a special birthday dinner for me but I don’t want to but, of course, because I am such a people pleaser I most likely will say yes even though I’d much rather stay home and watch one of my favourite movies for the hundredth time and each a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream! Why is it that on my birthday I am feeling like I have to try to please others, that I don’t want them to feel bad for not doing anything for my birthday when it is me who doesn’t want to do anything. It is quite the predicament.
I am finding the 19 is a weird age to be turning. You are still in your teenage years so nothing has changed there. In Australia you can drink and vote at 18, so nothing is actually different at 19. Its just another age and for me it just feels like another year has gone by and I am thinking about everything that has changed and everything that is the same. Since my last birthday I have lost touch with a few friends that I thought I would have for a long time, and that is probably the biggest thing I am thinking about right now. That people I was once really good friends with are slowly drifting away and there is no birthday wish that can change that.
Why is it that on one day each year, the love people have for you can’t just be known, it has to be expressed in cards and gifts and hugs and singing and cake?! Where did all of these traditions come from? When you sit down and think, why are these people singing happy birthday to me while standing around a cake that says my name on it, all for just surviving another year – the whole practice just seems rather ridiculous if you ask me. Maybe I am just a cynical person and don’t like birthdays because of a few bad birthdays in the past, or maybe, just maybe I have a point.
This was not by any means a planned post, I just needed to rant and what better place to do it than on here. Thanks all for reading 🙂 Let me know in the comments what your opinions on birthdays are! Have any of you had some bad birthday experiences in the past that have made you a birthday cynic like me??
Stay safe and keep connected,